"Our greeting: a double thumbs-up. Our credo: 'Be More Awesome.' Our lifestyle: 'Maximum Fun.' Throw caution to the wind, friend, and live The New Sincerity."The übermensch in Thorn’s philosophy is Evel Knievel. A man simultaneously completely bitchen and utterly absurd, Knievel made a career out of jumping over things in a red-white-and-blue jumpsuit. Not dissimilarly, AC/DC made a career out of re-using the same drumbeat and making up names for genitals. And they couldn't possibly be more awesome.
It took me until adulthood to get AC/DC. I hit my teens in the post-Nirvana 90s, and Beck and Tarantino taught me that the smartest guy in the room is also the coolest. My teenage energy was spent on punk, and I was actively opposed to anything that sounded like dumb 80s rock. And for all that AC/DC is, they sure as hell aren’t the smartest guys in any room. They actually might be the dumbest.
But AC/DC aren't an intellectual band, they're a workingman's band. Bon Scott and Brian Johnson sound like whiskey and cigarettes. Angus probably has calluses on his fingers as thick as the sole of a shoe. If they weren't doing this I don't know what they'd be doing, but there are a lot of things I'd put my money on before college professor. Throw away your fancy clothes, get up off your ass, and start getting shit done. Fuck, they'll do it for free. Nike tapped into this with that great, great commercial from a couple years ago. If ever a commercial could inspire me to spend money on overpriced athletic wear made by child labor, this is that commercial.
It doesn't matter how well Malcolm and Angus did on their college entrance exams, because they've figured something out about humanity. Look at the cover of Dirty Deeds. Everyone’s complicit: the cop, the businessman, your grandmother. This doesn't come out of nowhere. On some level, everyone wants to turn their amp up to 10, slam back a shot and start kicking ass. Wine, women and song is hardly a new combination, but that doesn't make it any less powerful.
There’s going to be a lot of inaccessible shit on this iPod. There are going to be 12-minute drones, and snarky meta-pop songs. And as important as I think it can be to intellectualize, to think things through and understand context and how this is a reaction to that and was later commented on by this, carried to an extreme that kind of existence can start to drain your soul, your humanity. It’s important not to lose that. My father once told me that one measure of a man is his ability to empathize. Even though we're probably nothing alike in real life, AC/DC's music might be the easiest thing to relate to in the world. It ain't rocket science, it's rock and roll.
I’m so fucking glad I got to start with this band. This is Maximum Fun. There should be a rule that they're the first name listed on every iPod (sorry, ABBA). And, obviously, I have to close with:
For those about to rock, we salute you.
___________
Next Week's Episode: Activities of Dust
No comments:
Post a Comment